House Of The Dragon Season 3, Episode 5 Recap: Gold Cloaks Killed

Turns out, rats are the least insidious threat scurrying about beneath Rhaenyra’s feet. 

This week’s “House of the Dragon” proves that the faction that’s been scrawling slogans on the walls of King’s Landing has breached the Red Keep. And by the end of the hour, there’s a massacre in the basement — not to mention the queens stuck in the walls. (We’ll get to that.)

Read on for the highlights of Episode 5. 

Addam and Baela report to Rhaenyra’s small council that Vhagar is out and about, burning the countryside willy-nilly. Rhaenyra orders Daemon to take Caraxes and see what’s up, but he refuses — in front of the whole Small Council — because he wants to investigate the deaths of two Gold Cloaks in Flea Bottom the night before.

“Have I somehow found myself back on Dragonstone?” the Black queen wonders when she catches up to her consort in the hallway. “Where my voice, again, must compete with yours?” He says no in the douchiest way possible: “I have pledged to fulfill your commands. Just… later.” He points out that she wants revenge and is being distracted by commoners’ grumblings. Then, they’re interrupted with news: Rhaenyra’s young son, Joffrey, has returned to the castle. The queen gets a strange look on her face, then says she’ll visit the child she hasn’t seen in ages. Just… later.

Daemon finds Rhaenyra praying to The Seven — a move she says can’t hurt, despite the fact that Targaryens don’t really believe in the gods — and then the two of them have a conversation in high Valyrian about how the faction working against her in King’s Landing may be a) more organized, and therefore b) more formidable than either of them thought. More on that in a tick.

By the time Rhaenyra gets to Joffrey’s room that evening, he’s fallen asleep.

In Tumbleton, Ormund gets a raven that Gold Cloaks have been killed in King’s Landing. Then he and Daeron talk about history, and Daeron bests his surrogate father in a game. At first, Ormund is incensed, but then he instructs his charge never to apologize for victory, and shows him some coins he had forged in the youth’s likeness.

Ser Roderick Dustin, Oscar Tully, and the rest of Daemon’s army are stalled on their way to Tumbleton, thanks to burned river crossings. As the old man and the kid grouse about not getting to mess with Ser Criston Cole and his men, the knight in question himself — and his forces — creep into the camp, killing and burning with abandon.

Off their success torching the camp, Cole and Gwayne and the rest of the men ride through the forest. Gwayne seems to have done a 180 on Ser Criston, inviting him to come to Oldtown and watch the sunrise and be besties forever. Gwayne is one excited sigh away from asking Cole if he wants to start a band or something when several of the company’s horses start rearing and bucking. The opposing army got there first and hid spikes, which lodged themselves in some of the horses’ hooves. With their steeds done for, Cole leads his men are on a miserable, literal death march. Gwayne, irked, is like, “I take it back: You are NOT playing with my Transformers.”

The bedraggled troops reach the river crossing they’d targeted… only to find that the rivermen have already crossed and burned it behind them. “So we’ve failed,” Gwayne says, near tears. Later, in camp, Criston talks about how he’ll either swim or raft the river in order to continue his mission. But they’re way outnumbered! “You’ll march us toward certain death,” Gwayne says, then the penny drops: That’s the outcome Criston wanted all along.

“I will not return, spurned, rejected. I am the realm’s greatest warrior, and I will die as such. Clear-eyed, unbent, glorious in battle, and not in their service, finally, but in my own. And they will sing songs of it. And Queen Alicent herself will hear them,” he says. Ohhhhh, honey. So while Criston boosts his men with a speech appealing to The Seven, Gwayne packs his bedroll and goes AWOL.

More men show up at Harrenhal, looking for Aemond, who now has a large bounty on his head thanks to Rhaenyra. Alys tells them a creepy tale about how the castle is haunted, and after she maneuvers things so that a colony of bats flies at them, the spooked men run away, screaming.

Of course, Aemond is still there, recovering from his stabbing and maybe slowly losing his mind? When he wakes from a recurring nightmare of Aegon, on fire, dragging him down, Alys calms the one-eyed prince; he winds up clinging to her. “She saw it,” he says, shaken. “She said I would die, and I ruined everything,” he says, clearly referencing Helaena’s prophecy from last season. As Alys comforts him, he whispers, “Mother.”

The next time Aemond wakes, he staggers around the castle, looking for Vhagar. Alys informs him once more that Rhaenyra took King’s Landing, that Aegon is believed dead, and that Aemond killed him. He cries. “Sometimes, the child that grieves her is the one a mother loves best,” Alys says, wiping his tears. When he asks who she is, she simply replies, “One that has been grieved.”

Toward the end of the hour, more bounty hunters come to Harrenhal, and they’re about to harm Alys when Aemond pops up out of nowhere like an eyepatch-sporting angel. When all of the men have been disposed of, she quips that her patient appears to have taken a turn for the better.

Grand Maester Orwyle gains access to Alicent and Helaena’s quarters by using a time-honored technique: He talks about gynecology, and the men guarding the door will do anything to end the conversation, so they quickly usher him through. Inside, he delivers a vial to Alicent and ruefully lets her know that he can no longer help her without divulging what’s going on to Rhaenyra. “I understand,” the queen dowager says, grasping his hand in thanks.

After he leaves, Alicent tries to get her daughter to take the abortifacient he brought, but Helaena refuses. She also lets her mother know that Aemond is still at Harrenhal — and she knows because “I’ve seen him. He burns, but without fire.” Alicent breezes past that as she tries to get Helaena to understand that only bad things can happen if she gives birth to another heir to the throne. It gets to the point where the older woman is trying to force the medicine into Helaena’s mouth, pointing out that the same fix saved both her and Rhaenyra from scorn in the past. But the blonde won’t budge. Even if the child she bears lives its whole life as a pawn or a hostage, “It’s mine!” she yells defiantly.

Mysaria later shows up in Alicent’s room. She knows about Orwell’s visit and what he brought. Alicent first tries to play it off as a headache remedy for Helaena, but quickly pivots to saying she needs the concoction for herself. “I was careless,” she says, “to my shame.” To sell the ruse, she chugs the entire thing while Mysaria watches, then plays the “us girls gotta stick together” card as she asks for discretion. “You would not seek to deceive the queen?” the Mistress of Whisperers asks. “I am her prisoner,” Alicent replies, noting that Mysaria herself once was in the same situation.

Later, Alicent and Helaena dress as maids and start to escape (thanks to a castle staffer who could be bribed), only to run into Mysaria standing outside their room. Alicent begs her not to tell Rhaenyra, but Mysaria isn’t interested in lying to the queen. Alicent brings up The White Worm, aka Mysaria’s pre-Rhaenyra self, who was a savvy and cunning operator loyal to no one but herself. Alicent warns Mysaria that Rhaenyra only has one person she counts on, and that’s Daemon — regardless of what the Black queen says. Mysaria leaves without indicating her next move.

That night, before bed, Helaena notices that one of the cats brought into the Red Keep to help with the rat population hears something in the wall. Then the queen notices a draft that shouldn’t be there is making her candle’s flame flicker. Alicent joins her, pushing against a panel until it opens, revealing a secret passage.

So they grab a lantern and follow the path, closing the door behind them… only to realize that the path ends in a brick wall. And when Helaena accidentally drops the light and it goes out, the women are stuck, in the dark, in a secret hallway no one knows about.

Elsewhere in Westeros, Aegon and Larys have set off to find Vhagar, based on word of a sighting of the beast nearby. Larys is against the plan, however, noting that Aemond is “a coiled viper, and you are hungry, and broken, and alone.” But Aegon doesn’t want to hear it, vowing to find and kill his brother “or die in the attempt.”

Aegon sits and sulks about how Aemond was always the favored child in their family. And then, Larys decides he has had enough. He lists all the ways Aegon threw away every advantage he ever had, then Larys stands as he delivers the final blow: “You were a terrible king. But worse than that, you are a terrible man.” Preach!

Later, Aegon returns to Janos’ encampment, sits next to Larys, and concedes that they should hire the ship like Larys wanted in the first place. “What ship might that be?” says a hooded figure nearby. And when they look up, they are surprised to see Tyland Lannister, reports of whose death at the Battle of the Gullet have been greatly exaggerated.

Tyland and Larys are having a conversation about next steps when Janos creeps up next to Aegon, holding his crown. The bully lets on that he knows Aegon is king, and therefore Aegon covers the man’s mouth and stabs him repeatedly in the belly, correcting him to call Aegon “your grace.” Larys and Tyland’s faces when they realize what’s happened? Frustrated perfection.

A rousing speech designed to galvanize the Gold Cloaks into finding the people killing their brethren hits a sour note when some of them raise the issue of their frozen wages. So Daemon stands up and regulates, promising them all riches and such when things get better. 

Later, when the Gold Cloaks apprehend someone they suspect killed their colleagues, Daemon and Ser Luthor torture the man until he coughs up the truth: He was hired by someone who told him he was working on behalf of King Daeron Targaryen. He directs them to his boot, where one of Ormund’s gold coins is hidden. Daemon brings the piece to Rhaenyra, tossing it down as he declares she’s got a new threat to worry about.

Later on, Daemon heads down to the City Watch hidey hole but can’t find anyone… until a horrible smell leads him to a grisly tableau: Ser Luthor and the rest of the Gold Cloaks have been killed and staged at a table, “A feast for traitors” written in blood on the wall behind them.

Now it’s your turn. What did you think of the episode? Hit the comments, and let us know!