Summer House Pathy Moment, Criminal Minds, Euphoria, And More

You know we’d never forget Quotes of the Week!

In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including “Criminal Minds: Evolution,” “America’s Got Talent,” “Widow’s Bay,” “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” “The Four Seasons,” “Your Friends & Neighbors,” “RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars,” and “RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked.”

Also featured in this week’s roundup: Bravo’s Lindsay Hubbard gives noteworthy one-liners in two different shows, Kevin Costner catches a stray on “Rick and Morty,” and “Euphoria” delivers a final address. Plus, we’ve got a double dose of “Not Suitable for Work.”

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, and Andy Swift)

“She’s the worst! She’s the f***in’ worst. I’m sorry.”

Patricia (Kate O’Flynn) has very sound reasoning for tasing (!) local mean girl Kris

“I’m a little disappointed you didn’t tell me you had a new boyfriend.”

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh no, that’s uh, Mr. Wednesday?”

“Yes.”

“Mr. Wednesday, as in, there’s other days of the week?”

“Oh no. Saturday, and that’s it.”

“Oh! Wait, and you knew about this?”

“I didn’t know he was gonna merge into Thursday.”

“How was any of us to know that, really?”

After arriving a few minutes too early, JJ (A.J. Cook) and Alves (Adam Rodriguez) get a firsthand education in Garcia’s (Kirsten Vangsness) “salacious paramour encounters”

“Every summer, I take two weeks off and come here. … I go home with the peace of mind stupid people get from watching Kevin Costner movies.”

Geez, what did Kevin Costner ever do to Rick (Ian Cardoni)? It was ‘Waterworld,’ wasn’t it?

“You just learned English?”

“You sound pretty good to me… but what do I know?”

Howie Mandel and Sofia Vergara are impressed by a French comedian’s ability to also be funny in English, a struggle with which Vergara is all too familiar

“’60 Minutes’ will be replaced by new episodes of ‘Reporters Unleashed.'”

Kimmel, imagining a less-than-serious future for CBS News after Scott Pelley’s firing

“Oh my God, Questlove. Yo, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m one of the producers. Like, if it’s in New York and it’s cool, then they kind of have to ask me.”

Zero lies detected, Quest

“Holy s–t, you guys! There’s a fire! Come on, we gotta get out. I’m not gonna lose you like this! Grab the photo of us from Six Flags!” 

Davis (Will Angus) apparently has a special place in his heart for the friends’ recent amusement park outing

“Only thing I know for certain is the there is a right and a wrong in the world. There ain’t no in-between. You’re either making the world a better place, or you’re making it worse. In the end, it’s that f**king simple.”

A broken Ali (Colman Domingo) sizes things up in a powerful, if heartbreaking, final address to his Narcotics Anonymous meeting

“Vivacious, what you have done for history has been great. When Marsha P. Johnson threw you through Stonewall, you changed history forever.”

Silky Nutmeg Ganache delivers a savage (and Pride Month appropriate) read to Vivacious in this week’s slapping challenge, and she definitely earned that slap

“To the Bracket 1 queens, I just want to let you know I’m coming for you! You stand no chance. And to the girls coming after me… I clogged the toilet. You’re welcome!”

Crystal Methyd shares her farting — sorry, parting — thoughts at the end of Bracket 2

“It’s been public, who I’ve hooked up with every once in a while.”

“West, you are a pathy. We believe nothing.”

Lindsay calls West like she sees him: a pathy-logical liar

“I am not shopping for a soulmate at all. I’m actually trying not to be intentional. I just want to f**king have fun, laugh, joke, hee-hee, ha-ha, and then kiki at home! If my fanny is fluttering, and I have the tingles downstairs, that’s what I’m looking for.”

Lindsay’s single-life confessionals are the gifts that keep on giving

“Why does every relationship I have lead to criminal charges?”

Sam (Olivia Munn) is questioning her life choices after another man she’s seeing ends up dead

“We don’t have endless arguments about what’s for dinner anymore. I can have Triscuits and cottage cheese, and he can order a meatball sub from that place where I saw a rat once.” 

Kate (Tina Fey) shares the secrets of her low-key, hands-off marriage to Jack